Learning as we go…

<p>I am not an unschooler. For me and for today at least, it feels more freeing not to be an unschooler. I use the description when it pleases me (on rare occasions and often for shock value when I’m in a mood), when it suits me, when I find it useful; but I am not an unschooler.&nbsp; I use the term “homeschooler” in the same way, although the shock value is quite diminished with this word.&nbsp; It solves a mystery for others. It gives them a place to put me in their minds.</p>

<p>I first came upon the term ”unschooler” and all associated terms when I decided to legally “home educate” my eldest. I was perusing my state homeschool organization’s website for methodologies and curriculum when I saw the term “unschooling” on the sidebar. I can still remember when the term first flickered upon my mind. I was intrigued. I didn’t follow “the call,” but the flicker burned in mind to stay. I remember also feeling a sense of relief that the doorway the term represented to me existed, just like when I learned about “attachment parenting” from my first experiences with LLL, (I am also not an attachment parent-er, nor do I attachment parent)– when I first learned that it was “truly” (from the viewpoint of others) OK to co-sleep with my nursing baby and not force feed her solids even though she was nine months old and still nursing solely. I felt validated in a world where I felt alone and unsure of my own assuredness as a mother.</p>

<p>I did carry on with my curriculum seeking plans, and I remember taking a few unschooling sites in here and there along the way. Again, relief. OK. It is OK for me to trust my children’s natural development, learning, becoming into the world (and most of all, myself) as I had up to the point of “homeschooling.” I began to relax, and I bought a literature based curriculum. Perhaps I could use it to follow my child. Perhaps I could interest her. I also bought workbooks, the ones that help children develop those basic skills of counting and sorting and identifying letters. I hear some children like them, but not my child!</p>

<p>She knew what she wanted and needed, and it wasn’t what I had in mind. Both efforts fell flat on my child. It seems I had “unschooled” her already. She was already “unschooling” and had no clue what a “school” was to which she was to be forming her “un” identity against. My child is not an unschooler. She is not unschooling or unschooled. She is just living her life and really does not want or need the title; recognition or fear that the title might or not bring; the freedom, judgement or confinement of a label, no matter how it might work well and good for others. I see no need from her to be called an “unschooler,” to “be unschooling” or “unschooled.” The term, as is the term “homeschooler” is dishonest, misrepresentative of her existence. It’s off. Its purpose in her life is questionable. I haven’t seen it help her communicate or relate better to other children or understand herself better. Perhaps it will be of use in the future when and if her friends and encounters ask her more personal questions. I don’t know.</p>

<p>As for me, I may be unschooling. I may unschool myself and do, as I still have a lot of ME to unravel from my own institutionalized childhood, from my own domestication as a child. I am un-forming and re-forming against my schooling itself and the idea of it. But I do not want to *be* an unschooler today. I’ve lost enough of myself already. I want to be me. That’s my goal. I don’t want to be defined otherwise, and the term “unschooler” just seems so loaded and defining to me. As for the “unschooling” terms, I see how they can flicker on the mind and burn an impression; and some of us do need something to re-form ourselves against, it seems. I do include myself, and I don’t think that’s a negative. Perhaps society needs that from us, as well. Perhaps society needs the terms. Perhaps it is time for some of us to choose to not be unschoolers. Again, I don’t know.</p>

<p>What do you think? Comments are welcomed!</p>

<p>This post is subject to revision….seems a habit…&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;</p>

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<p>“We homeschool.” That’s what we tell folks who ask, “What grade are you in?” or “What school do you go to?” and who generally wonder why the children are not in school during the middle of the day. “We homeschool,” we say, and that makes them feel better, I think….&nbsp; </p>

<p>It almost feels like lying. It doesn’t fit our lives and does not feel authentic. We don’t homeschool in the way they are imagining; we don’t do school at home. The term “homeschooling” feels dishonest to us, but it is the word that makes sense to others. Homeschooling, it seems, has become socially acceptable in at least some generalized way, and I think it may be because folks think we do “school-at-home” at least as good as and maybe better and more proficiently than the schools do. It’s a lie for us. We do not do “school-at-home” as good as and maybe better than the schools do. We do not do “school-at-home.”&nbsp; We do not “homeschool.” </p>

<p>I am grateful for the inroads that the concept of homeschooling has made in society in general. This “allowance” by law and social acceptance gives us the freedom to define a different <a href="http://lifewithoutschool.typepad.com/lifewithoutschool/2006/05/redefining_chil.html">childhood</a> for our children. Thank you! I am grateful that we are free in my state to wander the streets in order to “make the world our classroom.” Although, we don’t want to really make the world our classroom, we just want to live in it and learn as we go. It’s really that simple, and really “works.” </p>

<p>We “homeschool” for you. My children are aware of your need to box their childhood into a definition that you can understand, even though it feels dishonest to them. They have learned that you need that word to understand them, accept them living life without school. It is a social hoop that they have accepted as a part of life today, at least, and they are resigned to “play the game” for themselves and for you. It makes life easier not have to explain your personal life to others. The response, “I homeschool,” closes the door to your inquiry into their personal lives. It works. I am grateful that we have the term today. I am grateful to all those who worked so hard to make it OK to “homeschool.” But our lives are bigger than the idea of that, and I wish there was some way to tell you about it. I wish there was no need to call childhood, “homeschool.” </p>

<p>We also don’t reeealy “unschool,” or maybe we just aren’t “unschoolers,” but that’s another story and another post…..&nbsp; </p>