Learning as we go…

Last night, my children played "library." I had just filled our bookshelves in the living room with new to us  hand-me-down books sent by Nana and the cousins and with books we had stacked in a closet. The once bare shelves are now filled and somewhat ordered~yay!

I walked into the living room to see a library set up, complete with books on display. Stuffed animals had library cards and had checked out books. The librarian had hand written the title of each book checked out by each patron twice, once for her records and once for the patron.

The librarian, my 9 yo, does not like to write. About a month ago, I had her copy a poem for me just so I would know she could. She did and she could; and now, obviously she still can.

We are not on the school's "time table" here. That is quite clear to all who read this, I am sure. I do not want "time tables" interfering with a natural honest process, but I do let them scare me at times. So I sit here relieved, yet again, as our process here moves forward as it needs to.

I do know this: Learning can happen all over the place. It does not have to be linearly set, step by step. It is interesting and even amazing to see learning unfold for each child.

My 6 year old can "work a clock." He can tell me in a flash how much time it will be until friends are set to arrive. He can add multiple digit numbers in his head. But, he can barely write his letters. He knows them. He knows a lot. My 9 year old can create complicated stories and keep several on-going stories in her head at one time. She is extremely perceptive, and like her brother, knows a lot. She remembers information that I quickly forget. I think she has an exceptional ability to hear, observe, synthesize and remember long term. I think early reading and writing would interfere with her own process. I think she is coming into it as she actually, truly needs to~right on time.

When I am really worried, it seems evidence appears that allows me to let go and continue forward in the way that is most comfortable for my children as individual people, who are also learners. Despite all the anecdotal evidence in other people's lives (and i am grateful to hear the stories of others), what has the greatest impact on me is evidence in my own life. I don't put my trust in anything else.

Celeste, at the Life Without School blog, has a post up called The Happiest Man I Ever Met. It is a beautifully written post. It’s about a man she met years ago who found himself on the other side of the cultural current of “success.” She had me there with her on the day she met that man wanting a bit of what he had.

Today I planned with a friend. We planned things to do! We decided what we are individually interested in and pooled together our like-minded interests (of course the interests of our children) and planned an itinerary for the next few months.

We included just plain "for the fun" outings, for the interest (learning) outings; and we decided to include community service in ways that our children would enjoy and in ways that we would enjoy.

We plan to share what we have come up with with our local homeschool list, knowing that some of these adventures we will be taking with our two families alone (we all have schedules that clash at times and different interests). Sometimes posting to a list can result in a flood of responses, and sometimes, nada.

This is the first time I have planned with a friend, and I like this idea alot. We will seek out opportunities to explore the world as a family, but it is nice to know that we can adventure with others who share like interests and who will actually be there to share them with us! 

Valerie over at HEM News and Commentary blogs about Jesus Camp. A documentary was made that has received several awards. (I am too lazy right now to fill in the details.) Valerie links to a newpaper article called Controversial Camp. It seems evangelicals inculcate (using that word because I have seen it used before by a politician regarding homeschooling) their children with specific beliefs, while liberals are not absolutists and allow their children to come to their own beliefs. I don't think it's all so cut and dry. We all inculcate.

There was an observation that the children being observed and written about by the film makers. The concern is that this documentary will further fuel anti-homeschoolers Apple and Reich and make life harder for us as homeschoolers. Apple and Reich believe that the state should keep parents from inculcating their children with narrow-minded, ultra-conservative, non-American ways. (I am using that latter term, not R and A (best I know), but I think it is implied by anyone who is trying to enforce their view of what America should be like as a whole- I love how that term or the implication of it is used (and sometimes seemingly successfully) to control people's opinions.)

I'm a liberal and a bit of a libertarian. I'm a green liberal libertarian. Think I got that order right. (Sheesh, I think I'm a conservative, too...oh well.) I inculcate my children by WHO I AM. Schools inculcate children. School culture inculcates children. Popular culture (Brittany Spears?) inculcates children. My children also know NOTHING of Brittany Spears (She is irrelevant to their lives.) The authors were actually surprised that the children they documented did know of BS and Lindsay Lohan~OK. My children don't know those people! They know about about life in general, tons about nature (they know Jeff Corwin, but they don't worship him), themselves, their own ideas and thoughts and interests.....and mine. They are exposed to my thoughts, ideas and interests. I hope not to actively, purposely inculcate who I am onto them, but I do catch myself at times. I do inculcate my beliefs about the environment, for example.

I do allow my children to think for themselves, to believe what they NEED TO BELIEVE TO FEEL WHOLE AND INTEGRATED as best I can as a mother who is a human being. We all influence each other, and as a parent I have sway just because I am. I try to be aware of the power I hold as a mother to my children and to use it with honor.

I was spiritually abused as a child and quite frankly I think Camp Jesus is appalling. I think children need to grow into their spirituality and I think Jesus (as I choose to understand him) would be appalled, as well. But then I think Camp School can be pretty appalling. "We" do not question Camp School, it's messages, the control that it exerts upon the lives of our children because Camp School is as it should be, for the most part; Camp School is socially acceptable and beyond question as an institution.

I do not think the state should be in the business of controlling whose right is right. John Holt wrote about this, and when I have more time and the inclination, I will look that up and include it in this post. I refuse to send my children to Camp School or Camp Jesus.

I also think if we feed this fear of Reichey people and Appley people using this kind of stuff against us; we feed that energy. We lose the energy we have to create a REAL view of who we are. So there is a Camp Jesus. It happens. Camp School. Camp Jesus. Camp Brittany Spears. OK. Sad. Do we make laws against them all?

I was pretty much inculcated in sick religious right fundamentalist dogma as a child, and I did attend public school. What do R and A propose about super religious fundamentalist churches all together? Abolish them? What about addressing spiritual abuse? Oh, that's right, there is this thing called separation of church and state. Seems that should cover Camp Jesus, as well. People are free to spiritually abuse their children whether they homeschool or not. My guess is that school is supposed to provide a break from the abuse~ another potentially toxic exposure?

There is inculcation (as in the schools, cultures) where people see other realities (sometimes from afar~look at what the schooled folk think of those homeschooled folk) and there is in-home/small group/churchy inculcation like where you are locked in a room and know no other reality at all exists. I feel for those children who have mom's and dad's fears rammed down their throats and forced into their beings.  

But, what's the logic with the anti-homeschoolers? Where do they draw the inculcation line? Wouldn't that be a form of inculcation?

(Revised and "to be" revised, as usual.)

I just came across a site that offered a waldorf style curriculum. I was sooo tempted. The package was so lovely. The ideas were so lovely. I love lovely. I love ideal images (my ideal) and those packages fit a romanticized ideal that I sometimes fall into. I love the way the product looks once it is produced-by the child. I love the way the process of getting to the product sounds and looks in my mind. A beautiful story. A beautiful end product. This will be evidence that I am doing something really right for my children.

I have many many many waldorf books on my shelves. We attended a parent child class last year and really loved it. It was so much fun and a very lovely experience. It was an experience. It was good for us to keep it that way. We bring waldorf into our lives all the time. Well, I do. The children incorporate what is meaningful to them into their lives. For them, it is life, not waldorf. Just like unschooling is life, not unschooling.

When I was about to click to order yet another book, I stopped myself. My fear is that I will miss something vital for my children. What if this book explains the common comma in an uncommon, beautiful, lovely way that I cannot?

There is something sinister about living life out of fear of losing out. That fear will keep me from buying that piece of curriculum (because I identify the fear and refuse to feed it) or it will send me there, probably, most likely, to satisfy myself yet again that I do not need it. There may be a nugget here or a nugget there (especially since we do not school at home and use resources/perspectives as the need to know arises) and that's about it.

What hit me (and this is of course a personal observation) is that learning is a business. Nothing wrong with that, I guess. People make money helping guide other people in how to teach their children. What bothers me about it is this dependency I see it pull from me when I catch a glimpse of a possible "they have something that I need to know and I need them to know it." I guess that's fine, too. I use resources and pay for resources all the time. I think a difference might be when I am dependent on this person or this resource to MOVE. I've seen that in some circles. It is like a complete dependence on a person, a resource, a philosophy that one does not feel equipped or equippable (not a word, but it works for me) to move forward. That make any sense?

This is one reason I really do love the library. It is freeing to be able to research and explore and then turn the book back in. There is no scarcity. There is time to research, read, experiment. No money attached unless it serves you enough to invest in your personal copy.

Ok. How people learn to read, when and if one is truly dyslexic and/or has a true "learning disability" will be a "need to know and understand" of mine. I was beginning to work toward a Master's Degree in Reading before children. I have a few classes under my belt, but they explained little of why children do not learn to read. They only explained how to teach: phonetically or whole language. I have for a while had a hankering to understand the learning to read process, it seems.

I also worked with adults in a literacy program for a year. I know that there are some people who for whatever reason truly have trouble decoding and making words stick in their minds, in whole or in part. I worked with one man like this. He knew enough words to get by. He had successfully run his own painting business without the ability to read every word he came into contact with as he ran his business and lived his life. He adapted to the world, but life might have been easier for him if he could learn to read better. He seemingly could not. Then I ask, are we all 100% equipped to face "life as we know it" and does society make it harder than it has to be for the "non-reader?? Do we stunt what could be a natural process (out of time and sync with the expected) and create "non-readers"?? Is there a biological condition that hinders the "learn to read" process, that keeps some people from becoming "proficient" readers; and if this is the case, do we harm those children by pushing and demanding what they cannot accomplish?

What do you think?

I am thinking. Time is speeding up. The days are getting a little shorter and there is a breeze in the air that seems to be telling summer its end is near.

This is the time that school starts, the time that school started for me for 18 years of my life. It is the time of beginnings, even though nature tells me it is a time for endings. It is Harvest time. It is the time for resting after the long hot work of summer. The time to breathe in a fresh wind. It feels like a beginning, and it is the time that the earth begins its preparations for its long winter sleep.

I think that the beginning preparations for school became a cultural ritual that represented Fall for me. What other rituals, symbolism are left in our culture to help us mark time and place our consciousness in space and time? Fall was about beginnings and my beginnings centered around school culture.

I love Fall. It is my favorite season. It makes me feel fresh and alive. It makes me think of the beginning of school and the anticipation that this year will be different and maybe even magical. The more I think about it, I realize that this anticipation was almost completely centered around making friends, being noticed in a positive way and being accepted; although I do remember the fun and anticipation that I associated with shopping for school supplies. I think I fantasized about learning actually being fun and about being successful as a student, proving myself worthy to the teachers and others. Fall was a time for the opportunity to begin again. This year will be.......

Now is the time for new beginnings. It is a time to re-define "what was" and to tune into myself, my children, how the season truly makes me feel and how I truly want to interact with life in this time and in this space called Fall.

This year, I want Fall to be less and less about the beginnings of another "school year." I want Fall to be more about the season and what the season calls us to do. The cooler weather is certainly beaconing us out, out, out of the house! The crisper, less humid night air is calling, as well. I am ready to start venturing out and doing more! I want to feel the Fall air around me. I want to explore. Where can we go? Where do we want to go? What do we want to experience?

I am thinking that I like this idea of sync-ing with the seasons. I like the idea of creating a culture of our own that feels authentically inclined and inspired. Thus, we will not be beginning or preparing for the "school year." This is our year. This is our season. It belongs to us.

I often hear about parents wanting to teach their children letters and often around age 5 and 6. My children are not early readers, but they also have not had any formal reading instruction. We "learn as we go" (hoping not to sound trite). 6 is now reading emails over my shoulder and chiming in every now and then as I read chapter books aloud. 9 is not so interested in "mastering" reading on a set schedule.

I am seeing two different entrances into the world of reading with my children~both self directed, one a little faster tracked and focused than the other. Neither had letter lessons of any kind, and they learned their letters. I think they incorporated letters as they needed to. I think I told them letters as they asked or as they needed them to accomplish tasks such as reading a sign or writing a note or putting a caption on a picture~for writing our names. Then I would include a smidgen of Waldorf (forgive me waldorf people if I totally abused the methodology) and gave some letters a persona (K for King and P for the proud prince with a puffed out chest, J for Jack who is jumping over the candle stick, g for the girl with the long curl, and so on).

I just want to let anyone who is interested know that it is possible to learn those letters without formally being taught and one does not have to be a "quick study" for that to happen.

We are having computers wars here. It's not fun. One person wants to make sure he has equal time for sure to the minute. Another person does not like keeping time and feels trapped by keeping time. This person doesn't care if the other has more time and just wants to play when she feels like it. Solution: feel the time and estimate, not! Won't work for one person. Solution: Timer, not! Won't work for the other person. Solution: Stop watch for non-timer person as a courtesy to the timer person. Then timer person can "time" himself to make sure he gets his fair share or beyond. I hope it works!

What doesn't feel good is the time spent coming to a solution and the frustration spent while at odds and unsettled. Maybe the "I Wonder Game" could come in handy in such times.

Sonia Choquette in her book, Wise Child, describes a game she plays with her children, a game that her mother also played with her children. The game is called the I Wonder Game. The intent is to become open to intuition, insight and the world and possibilities (creative solutions). One rule for the game is that "you can't be wrong because it is not a test."  The fear of being wrong can cut one off from the magic of Wonder. Another rule is to laugh if you are "wrong" and essentially enjoy the process that led you there. "Then wonder some more." The third and final rule is "when you wonder into a positive solution or outcome, you celebrate~alot!" 

I love this part: "It helps when you wonder who people really are instead of judging by appearances." Wonder allows us to tap into the creative, sensitive, empowerable human potential that lies in us.

Wonder who is calling you on the phone. Wonder what will happen when you "get there". Wonder what will happen on the way. Wonder why the treetops are darker than the sky. Wonder who, what, when, why, how. It is a game, not a lesson, not a formula, not a way to teach someone. Wonder must be innately driven, although it can be other inspired. The wonderer must wonder for the magic to work.