Learning as we go…

Stephanie at Throwing Marshmallows has a quote: Learning can only happen when a child is interested. If he’s not interested it’s like throwing marshmallows at his head and calling it eating.” - Anonymous

I saw marshmallows flying the other day and it was cool! We went to a farm and were given a hayride through the cow maintenance and care. It was a dairy farm. We didn't get to see the cows be milked, but we did get to see where the cows are kept, how they are kept, fed and so on. While the tour guide (the famers' daughter, also a farmer herself) explained the operations over her microphone (she did a great job), my kids felt free to eat those marshmallows or let them fly. I ate more than they did because I was interested. Did you know the cows wear  computer chip anklets that let the people folk know when movement patterns have changed?

Later the kids and I talked about it all. They corrected me on the age at which the calves are separated from their mothers (12 HOURS!), but I think the rest was a rain of marshmallows. Since it was not a big deal whether they obtained/retained (whatever) any information or not, they were free to have fun and experience the whole trip, and did they! They will remember this adventure as they day they fed the sheep, goats, pigs, cows, and chickens for hours. They did. They made this their experience and that made the experience good learning. They can tell you what it feels like to have a cows tongue wrap around a cob or corn. They can tell you how a pig's nose feels and how a pig will attack a cob of corn and fight over it with another pig. They can tell you how a sheep feels and how a goat will nibble food out of your hand and attempt to walk a cat walk high over head. Can they really do that?

They learned how a farm smells and what it feels like to be with farm animals. This wasn't so much a field trip as an adventure. I may be taking Stephanie's quote totally in the wrong direction, but as I was thinking about our adventure today, I saw marshmallows; and I was grateful that marshmallows are not bricks. Take them or leave them.I am so glad my children do not feel they have to eat them, but can enjoy them if they find them relevant. I have come to see forced information as as harmful as no information when it is needed or more harmful. It takes away the hunger for information and exploration and experience when you are being force fed.

I think I have probably totally made mush out of marshmallows and the quote.....

My children played all day yesterday. Intensely and with purpose, they played. Webkinz have now have a tent house, a kitchen, a library, a doctor's office and a restaurant.

I remember how it felt to play. I remember being in play and the excitement of roleplaying as if play were real and I was really who I was pretending to be. I sensed that with their play. It made me remember.

There is something that must happen in the brain when children play like that. John Holt said something to the fact that play is how children make meaning out of life. Hope I got that right. I saw them play out making meaning.

This play included reading, writing and math. It included role playing working for a living: earning money, keeping track of it, spending it and the responsibilities that go with earning money.

It involved writing and reading menus and producing mass quantities of menus (organization and planning). It involved writing and reading doctor prescriptions. This is how my eldest is practicing her writing skills, including tattoo art in words~did I mention the tattoo shop?

I really do love to witness my children play. It just amazes me how the need to do~the need to write that menu and read it, the need to play the cook or the doctor, the need to work together, plan and organize~it amazes me to see them play out/work out those life skills as tehy play. Play creates the need to know and gives it a place in the brain that is staged for learning. The cognitive stage is set and ready to go.

My son is using the world as a "reader." He is using the world to learn to read. It has hit me just recently as he is moving into the "world of language" that he is using the context of life and the words he runs across in that context to learn to read.

More and more, he reads what he sees. More and more he asks for my help to figure out a word here and there. This is fun! This is fun to be a part of. He is walking into the "world of reading" like a one might walk into a book, like walking a landscape (like on a hike), like when one really wants to know that landscape wanting to really be in it, be a part of it and own it internally. You know, like when you are fascinated with something and want to know more and more, and the more you want to know, the deeper you get into that object of fascination? I see that happening.

My son is 6 1/2. He is, as usual, walking into this "world" more intensely than his older sister. She picks, grazes and takes her time; he intensely explores.

This is really interesting!

Last night, my children played "library." I had just filled our bookshelves in the living room with new to us  hand-me-down books sent by Nana and the cousins and with books we had stacked in a closet. The once bare shelves are now filled and somewhat ordered~yay!

I walked into the living room to see a library set up, complete with books on display. Stuffed animals had library cards and had checked out books. The librarian had hand written the title of each book checked out by each patron twice, once for her records and once for the patron.

The librarian, my 9 yo, does not like to write. About a month ago, I had her copy a poem for me just so I would know she could. She did and she could; and now, obviously she still can.

We are not on the school's "time table" here. That is quite clear to all who read this, I am sure. I do not want "time tables" interfering with a natural honest process, but I do let them scare me at times. So I sit here relieved, yet again, as our process here moves forward as it needs to.

I do know this: Learning can happen all over the place. It does not have to be linearly set, step by step. It is interesting and even amazing to see learning unfold for each child.

My 6 year old can "work a clock." He can tell me in a flash how much time it will be until friends are set to arrive. He can add multiple digit numbers in his head. But, he can barely write his letters. He knows them. He knows a lot. My 9 year old can create complicated stories and keep several on-going stories in her head at one time. She is extremely perceptive, and like her brother, knows a lot. She remembers information that I quickly forget. I think she has an exceptional ability to hear, observe, synthesize and remember long term. I think early reading and writing would interfere with her own process. I think she is coming into it as she actually, truly needs to~right on time.

When I am really worried, it seems evidence appears that allows me to let go and continue forward in the way that is most comfortable for my children as individual people, who are also learners. Despite all the anecdotal evidence in other people's lives (and i am grateful to hear the stories of others), what has the greatest impact on me is evidence in my own life. I don't put my trust in anything else.

I often hear about parents wanting to teach their children letters and often around age 5 and 6. My children are not early readers, but they also have not had any formal reading instruction. We "learn as we go" (hoping not to sound trite). 6 is now reading emails over my shoulder and chiming in every now and then as I read chapter books aloud. 9 is not so interested in "mastering" reading on a set schedule.

I am seeing two different entrances into the world of reading with my children~both self directed, one a little faster tracked and focused than the other. Neither had letter lessons of any kind, and they learned their letters. I think they incorporated letters as they needed to. I think I told them letters as they asked or as they needed them to accomplish tasks such as reading a sign or writing a note or putting a caption on a picture~for writing our names. Then I would include a smidgen of Waldorf (forgive me waldorf people if I totally abused the methodology) and gave some letters a persona (K for King and P for the proud prince with a puffed out chest, J for Jack who is jumping over the candle stick, g for the girl with the long curl, and so on).

I just want to let anyone who is interested know that it is possible to learn those letters without formally being taught and one does not have to be a "quick study" for that to happen.

<p>Ok. I seem to want to jot down little snippets today. Here is another one. I do as little as I can get away with. Why? Because I want to settle into a family life that feels good, comfortable and cozy. I don’t not do anything at all because that would be boring.</p>

<p>So, the trick here seems to be to identify what is meaningful to our lives and do those things and not waste energy doing things that are not meaningful. I’m not talking about analyzing every potential “do” with a fine tooth comb, but I am talking about taking an inventory of what we like as individuals and what makes us feel good and alive and doing those things and refraining (which means saying the big little word NO) those things that do not vibe, ring, sit clear and true with who we are. That make sense?</p>

<p>This past year has hit me as the year of realizing that I AM FREE to be me, and I want my kids to feel that, too. I think we (or I) have gotten caught up in the idea that we must socialize just about any way we can because we all know terrible things will happen if we do not expose our children to other children as much as we can.</p>

<p>You know what? That is not true. (And I say this to remind myself.) It is not true. Why? Because if you are not getting the good stuff out of being with other people; if it isn’t rewarding in that way that it needs to be; if the activity that draws the crowd is an excuse (or provides the reason) to get together and getting together is what really really is needed, then why? What truth is in that?</p>

<p>We have pulled back from “homeschooling life” in an attempt to actually choose life. It has been scary for me at times, but the kids are so just fine. They have their moments when they want their friends to be with them 24/7, and they are not isolated by any means. But, we have forgone many many activities because the activity is an excuse to be with others or it provides an atmosphere that my children do not feel comfortable in. They still prefer to learn privately. They still prefer to play, play, play with their friends; and you know what? It feels so right. </p>

OK. I am on this learning to read kick…trying to figure this out in my mind. My 9 yo is resistant to being taught how to read via phonics or read together reading lessons. We tried word families and even using Waldorf (more artistic) type activities. She was not happy. I could tell that I was crossing a line that didn’t need crossing, if that makes sense.

She is reading. She is picking up words as she goes and putting reading together (being cliche here) in her own way. I see that. I really do not want to mess with that. She is taking her time with it. And that would be more OK if I heard of other who have done this or if I can put this more comfortably in my mind. I hear stories that at age 9, 10,11 or so the child just starts reading, but I haven’t heard about the process.

Here I am seeing that phonics rules are being internalized and generalized. Brooz for bruise, for example. I have also seen that picture writing was used at first. Now pictures and words (phoneticaly spelled often times, other words spelled “correctly” must have been internalized as whole words). I think this is typical very right brained.

What I do not want to do is interfere with a natural process and shame it. That make sense? I do want to get a little reassurance that this makes sense. I don’t think I see dyslexia and I do wonder if some children are labeled with dyslexia when they are actually on target with their own learning to read process. Then they get railroaded into a process that does not mesh with them cognitively. When you are forced to take a track that you do not fit I cognitively, then you have lost you way? Make sense?

My 9 yo is reading “level 2″ readers (when she reads) with my help with words. She surprises me with signs that she reads at times, and I’ve noticed that if I don’t have the time to read for her when she is playing a computer game, she can read more than she and I think she can.

I have also noticed that 9 has accomplished some “milestones” later that some children; yet,  she is very intelligent in a different way. She intensely observes and remembers details that I do not. She is very creative and imaginative. She is happy in her world and I quite frankly I do not want to disturb that. I feel like its wrong in many ways.

Have you been there or seen this? What do you think?

I received some insightful comments when I first published this post on my other blog. Click here to read those comments.

<p>My 9 year old has had a day long spelling lesson. She has been intensely determined to name a Neopet without using numbers with the name. Seems Neopets are so well used that there are close to no names left! She got out the Name Your Baby book and has plugged in over and over again. Dad is home from work now and helping her come up with ideas, plugging in name after name after name after name. Help! This has been going on all day…..</p>

<p>I know this is a good thing and am quite pleased. I know she is processing things I cannot comprehend because this is not the way I learned to read and write. This is her way, and it takes longer than it is “supposed to.” But, you know, she is learning language like she learns most other things in her life. She is walking into it and taking her time–even if it takes all day, I guess. This make any sense?</p>

<p>Any other learn to read my way and in my time people out there? I would love to hear your stories.</p>

<p>Clarification! I do think that one’s own way can be phonetic and by instruction. But by “my way” I do mean not by phonetics and instruction and taking ones tiiiiime with it, as seems to be the case here…… </p>

<p>I didn’t teach my children to read, but they are reading. I don’t mean this to sound arrogant as in they are so smart that they didn’t need to be taught, though. I mean they don’t want or need to be taught in a step by step fashion. I also don’t mean that they have finished their learning to read process; they are still in it.</p>

<p>We’ve just added to our reading time together. They are now reading to us all, as I have been. Prince is reading Bob books and “level one” readers. Spirit is reading “level two” readers. What is amazing to me is what they have learned “on their own” (we talk about letters, words and sounds as it naturally comes up), and they are learning as they read. I help them when they are stumped,and they read on.</p>

<p>What is good is to know what works for your children and to feel free to go there, defy “what to expects” and “how to’s” and go your own way. Some children don’t need to be taught how to read. They need to learn their own way just like everybody else. To some children moving from whole to part is the way to go. They learn in context. They learn in the context of being in a story as if the story were the vehicle for the mind as it processes words. The story is part teacher.</p>

<p>I read this paragraph about exploring nature and it reminded me of how my children are learning to read:</p>

<p>“One of the best ways to learn about nature is to visit the same place over and over again until you know it by heart….For example, if you looked-really looked- at the same tree every day for a year, you would learn to know that tree like your friend. You would enjoy every big event in the life of the tree…..and you would teach yourself to know every small change.” ~Trickle Creek, pg 7, A Kid’s Spring Ecojournal. </p>

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<p>A lot of interesting conversation going on here lately….. </p>

<p>I like to catch up on the news now and then, and 9 happened by and sat down next to me. She started watching the images of bombs going off in Lebanon. She started asking questions. </p>

<p>I like the idea of her coming into awareness when she is ready. I also like the idea of her being empowered to signal when she has had enough information. I believe this not only keeps me from force feeding her information she is not mentally ready for, I think this also keeps me from over taking her own natural walk into her life learning path. She really has that under control and knows what she is doing almost instinctively. It also keeps me from invading her psychological and emotional space. She knows what she is ready to hear and what she is not ready to hear. When information is too much, she turns off. When I acknowledge that, I give her charge of her own life. I give her charge of her own mind and her own mental, psychological and emotional space. She learns that she can trust herself. </p>

<p>Back to the conversation on war and Israel and Palestine. I do not know all the facts, but I know enough to know that I have more questions. I know (and if anyone wants to fill us in, please do) that two groups of people are fighting over land and that no one is ever 100% right in my experience. Spirit doesn’t understand why the two cannot just accept their differences and feel free to be who they are and live together. This is good to me. She is thinking and has fertile ground in her mind based on her values and desire to see people live peacefully. She will come back to this issue one day. </p>

<p>Other recent topics of conversation: </p>

<p>Money &amp; Time (6 is now using the calender on the computer to countdown days to his next installment of money so he can buy a new Webkinz, which he has to budget.)</p>

<p>Gas mileage and comparing dad’s new car to old one with gas mileage (saving money and the environment) </p>

<p>The Environment (What is the ozone layer and why don’t we use cars that run on water as was seen on a TV program?)</p>

<p>Genes &amp; Antigens (I am reading Eat Right for Your Blood Type and that was our reading last night for some reason). </p>

<p>I read somewhere (was it John Holt?) that sometimes children (people) need to graze. They need to ask questions without fear of being bombarded with and forced more information that they want, need (to process) or can handle at that time. They need to feel free to ask a question, nibble here and there and allowed to process life as they need to. We have learned (from how we were raised) to fear a very natural process. Sometimes children are learning that anything worth learning must be taught to them (in a specific way and at a specific time) as if they are not capable of being naturally in their own skin, in their own minds, in their own lives.</p>

<p>Again, I think it was Holt who talked about hunches and how children (people) need to feel free to play out hunches without fear of being made wrong or fear of being wrong. A hunch is a vital personal step into life and learning. It is sacred in that way in my eyes. Learning to gage how much information I need and want from you at this time is based on a similar concept in my mind. I am learning to navigate my own life in that sense. I am learning what I want and need and feel, and I am learning to set my personal boundaries that define me and my space with you. This is an extremely valuable life tool in my mind.</p>

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